They think I am stupid

When I read these words from the subject line of Melissa Ambrosini’s message this morning, I felt compassion. And I remembered.

The humiliations, the screams, the “what are we going to do with you / her / your daughter”. And the feeling of shame that always followed.

For a long time, I wondered what I was going to do with me. Even when I was living something good, I felt like a fraud.

When I became top of the class in a BRITISH University (therefore, not being taught in my mother tongue!!), I felt I had taken the easy way out >>> “that’s therefore why I was top of the class with grades in the 80’s and 90’s%” >> because I had taken the easy route out by leaving a system, in France, where I did not feel I belonged.

When I chose the route to create my own business – there it was again!!! The thought and belief that I had taken the easy route, once again >>> I had left the corporate world where I was struggling to be fulfilled despite the high income.

As I was reading these words this morning I realised this: I did not take the easy way out.

I HAD THE COURAGE TO TAKE MYSELF OUT OF HELL AND TO NO LONGER LIVE MY LIFE BASED ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT I COULD BE, DO AND ACHIEVE.

It has worked out pretty well, hasn’t it !!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL TODAY ?

I feel the same freedom that I felt as a child playing, inventing, dancing, singing, creating, reading, writing, rehearsing … in my parent’s living room.

My view on school and education has tremendously changed as a result as you can imagine.

I wanted to tell you, this morning, that, sometimes, this fear still creeps in. I am in the middle of recording a video for Instagram or an episode for my podcast and I feel hot, sweaty, worth little.

THEY ARE GOING TO THINK I AM STUPID.

Haunts me – again.

Now, I become quickly aware of it creeping back & I am able to flip back to feeling glorious within – because I am.

For a long time, I believed I had to be wound-free to help others on their journey. Thanks to the vulnerability of mentors, I now know AND accept that healing is a life long journey.

As we allow to feel the pain, the wounds, the hurt, the child inside of us crying … we can also allow ourself to connect back to our inner glory as we heal by choosing our truth.

Because, I know

You know, also

That their thinking is not real. Only what you make of it, is.

What do you choose ?

Live a life of adventures, fun & love ?

Or one of fear, shame & hiding ?

The choice is always yours whatever the lines of your past say.

Come forward.

Turn on the spotlight.

And, bring The Show, yours, to life.

Become the Star of YOUR Show.

Today.

Love you, onwards,

Floriane